Head vs. Heart

Head vs. Heart 3:08am

What a whirlwind of a week. From no feelings about certain people, to so much going on I think I will explode. Contemplating everything. Everything that was in place suddenly has become way more complicated. From eating my feelings about George & not caring so much, to caring all of the sudden- well a back and forth situation, then again what's new. To knowing that I've been waiting for the hot cop to come back from Italy, to Gabe coming into my life again & telling me he cares.

Honestly this is what the post was mostly about, Gabe. He tells me he cares, that he wants to be with me. I'm on the fence about these feelings, I feel like they could grow in time, with patience & care. Like I like him, but is there that spark? But honestly tonight, I feel so misunderstood, it hurts. It reminds me of when I dated Justin, that feeling of just someone who thinks they have you figured out and they don't. Honestly I thought of Bryon the whole time he was talking, which is strange. But he knows me like the back of my hand. And this gemini in front of me, is like Justin. Making me feel bad for doing me; and making me feel bad not being what he wants me to be, what he thought I was. ASSUMPTIONS. BULLSHIT. STOP.
At this point in time, I should just go back to thinking of the hot Italian, & occasionally cry over George, hangout with my best friends & grind, and not become a drug dealer.
Your head is telling you walk away; walk away from people who think they know you when they don't, walk away from people who make you feel like they need to control what you want, and guilt you about how you feel. B, you know what and who you want. Yeah maybe it could be something, but they don't have the patience to figure it out. While this was all going down, I called Bryon because I know he would tell me the truth & make me feel better. Part 2 of this post will probably come tomorrow.

Yours Truly, B.
Lucid Dreams: Juice Wrld