Monday Montra

Monday Mantra : " People will hate you, rate you, break you. How you stand is what makes you."
Dearest Readers, today was nowhere near as productive as I hoped it would be. My goal was to wake up bright and early make coffee -with my favorite dark chocolate collagen powder, that makes my coffee taste like a healthy mocha; work out, take a bath, paint my nails. None of that happened, not even the coffee. I guess my body was even more exhausted from the weekend than I thought. So my day consisted of sleep, till I had to get up and get ready for work.

It was a pretty boring day at work, and as soon as I got there I wanted to leave. My co workers and I chatted about the bachelorette and how we didn't want to be there, I talked to the other host about my feels.

On a different note, I think I have come to a better conclusion on how to approach the crush situation. I just have to get back on my grind, stay busy. As cliche as it sounds, if someone is meant to be in my life they'll make a point to be in it. Tonight my other guy I'm talking to James, messaged me. We had a pretty good chat that made me think of some different things. I guess got my head on a little straight. I think it is because we have similar interests, goals, and lifestyle choices. Maybe I need to ponder and daydream the idea of him and I to take my mind of the Anthony (crush) situation. I mean I really do like James, if I didn't I wouldn't be going on date #2. They're just such different people. One's so Stockton, family oriented, Italian, goofy, party animal, sweet or sweet talk?
James is adventurous, lived in more than one place, successful, has lots of hobbies, and interested - asked me out right away. In my mind I feel like I know James is looking for something that could somewhere; and that is what I'm after. And Anthony, Player? Or doesn't know what he wants or who wants, that is the mystery. I'm not going to sit back and figure out what that's going to be.

If you're wondering why I chose this Monday Mantra quote, it's because I feel like most of us deal with this in our daily lives as a young person. Us young people, we get so caught up in trying to find ourselves and who to trust. That in the process of "Us" we get sidetracked by others opinions, and sometimes let those opinions take over our lives. But we know who we are deep inside. Our family members, our closest friends know. So why do we let mean comments dictate our lives? My advice to you is Don't.  You will be a happier individual being you, being with people who cherish you, want you to be happy, succeed have your back not, talk shit. Find those people who look at you like you're gold.

This year I have dealt with a lot of these negative comments, people gossiping like we are in high school, rating me by looks. They think they know me, and say these things for what? To feel bigger? I let a comment a month ago take me down, I ended up crying, and the people who saw me break down- maybe they saw the real me, not the comment someone had made up and assumed was me. It took over my life for weeks. Till my birthday, when all my bestest friends told me the most sweet and endearing compliments and advice- because they knew it was still bothering me. After that I remembered who I had by my side, who has been with me truly, through this journey of life. And that these people celebrating my birthday with me, are my rocks, my through thick & thins, my ride or dies. And with them I can get through anything life throws at me, even mean comments from petty co workers or old boyfriends. I will stand tall. Ever since I have changed this mindset, I have been the happiest I've been in my life. So to whoever is reading this, who is going through a hard time like this, turn to the people closest to you, who know you and have your back, lean on them for support. They will remind you that you are a truly amazing person. You will get through this, it will be hard, I know your ego and self esteem feel tarnished, but Fuck those people. If they can go about bringing people down, and can look in the mirror, happy with themselves, when they know someone is crying over what they said- they will not get far in life.  Let's be the people to build each other up, smile, compliment, and help each other out. Let's be so good, they now feel guilty for what they said.

Sorry for the crazy rant. . .  wow that took a crazy turn. . . I do hope you feel the positive vibes, and hope you can relate. I just know, I am happy that I did get out of the funk the negative comments put me in. I feel like I can tackle anything life throws at me, especially since I have my friends to lean on.
GOAl: "Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for doubt, worry, hate or fear"
Till next time.

Yours Truly, B.